reach for the skies, and FLY AWAY into peace

Thursday, 4 October 2007
let's celebrate!

Woohoo! Promos over! Literally hahaha! Damn scared i won't promote, must at least subpass physics or i'll be in trouble. Just looking to the future now, especially with that special, historical flight coming up in just 3 weeks. Anyway, time to concentrate on other stuff, chilling, pool blah blah blah.

flyaway
11:00 pm

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Saturday, 8 September 2007
I don't believe it...

I GOT A SEAT FOR THE A380 INAUGURAL FLIGHT!!! Absolutely unbelievable!!!

flyaway
12:03 am

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Sunday, 26 August 2007
J1 retreat

Came back from the J1 retreat last night. Got home at 10.30pm, went to bed at midnight and slept 12h straight. The retreat wasn't as bad as i feared it would be, but it's still far off from what i've experienced in SJI, the RME retreats, legion camps and chalets etc, and dare i say it isn't even as good as church camps. The retreat was mostly about making choices and finding happiness. Or at least i think it was. It was cool to have Eugene Wong as my facil. He happens to be one of my older friends from Legion. i think he made the difference in me having a meaningful retreat.

Anyway, i guess i did take something away from the retreat. About the happiness and all. It's very difficult to define happiness and we all have different definitions of it. The sessions on happiness really made me think about where i derive my own happiness from and why i don't really feel happy nowadays. Something Eugene said kinda struck me, he said that sometimes we don't need to pursue happiness, it's already there, it's whether we able to realise it. A lot of people think that i've more or less got it all, i come from a well-off family and have pretty much everything that i could ever want. So naturally, i ought to be happy right? And maybe it's cos i'm unable to realise this, that i'm unhappy. Well happiness is always so much more. right now, i'm struggling to find purpose. Life has become so mundane. Week in week out it's the same thing, mon-fri school, sat mucking around at home, sun church, visit grandparents. Well i guess the retreat has made me think more about making a choice and a commitment to an action, an action that will bring me happiness. I've made my choice, it's a choice to bring some purpose to my life and in bringing myself happiness, trying to spread happiness as well.

True happiness may be but an idealistic pursuit, so maybe it's time to realise the happiness i have now, as Eugene said. Take the positives, turn the situation upside down, and maybe life as i know it would be a happy one. And when happiness is achieved, it's time to pay it forward.

flyaway
2:35 pm

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Thursday, 23 August 2007
Us or you

Don't wayang in front of us please. When it matters, you're incompetent and you don't really understand the responsibility you've been entrusted with. You don't understand what it means to be in the position that you hold now. Just putting on a show in front of the people who matter. Just look at yourself. You don't have a clue what's going on or what we really think about you. Neither do you have any inkling how bad you're doing. You're obviously threatened by the rest of us. Don't give us the bullshit that you know this person in that position and that other person in that other position. You know very well when it counts we're the ones who know the people who really matter and we're the ones who know make things happen. You're never around when you should be nor do you believe in communicating everything with us. If you can't make the necessary sacrifices like the rest of us, if you can't fulfil your responsibilities, if you can't do the basic that you're expected to do, then please just admit it and disappear. Please just cut your damn act. If you can't change, then something's gonna happen. At the end, either we go or you go. Simple as that.

flyaway
10:22 pm

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Wednesday, 22 August 2007
Leaving a sinking ship?

I am not a quitter, nor do i wish to appear to be leaving a sinking ship. But i really can't stand the way things are turning out. On the one hand, i must consider the feelings of people, on the other hand i need to consider what's best for the CCA. I admit i have my share of failings as well over the last month or so, but i'm doing my best while trying to appease everybody. I can't keep this up forever, don't expect me to be around to cover up everything when things go wrong or come up with ideas and solutions for everything. I can't constantly lie in waiting to know what's going to happen. It's cowardly to leave without rectifying the situation as much as possible, but i can't expect to hang around until i finally crack from the stress. I don't want step down, but push me over the edge and i will leave. Let's see how things go from there, after the domino effect kicks in.

flyaway
11:31 pm

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Sunday, 19 August 2007
Beautiful fireworks!!!

Yesterday was J2 appreciation. Supposed to meet at city hall at 1pm, but we didn't leave till 1.50pm. Went to sizzler at suntec for lunch. Cost a tidy sum, especially having to pay for the j2s. Then we walked over to One Fullerton to escape the rain while waiting. Literally spent 1h stoning there doing nothing. Finally went to the Esplanade bridge at about 5. Sounds early right? Typical kiasu Singaporeans? Maybe, but it sure was worth it. Going there so early was an excellent decision. We managed to find a prime spot on the bridge to capture the fireworks. By 7, the bridge was beginning to get crowded. As more and more people came, there was a lot of jostling and the cops had to keep everything under control and maintain the flow of human traffic.

Just past 8, i made the rather unwise decision of going to the toilet at one fullerton. Firstly, i had to fight my way off the bridge, fight my way into the toilet due to the long queue for the ladies' and narrow passageway. Then repeat the process to get back to our 'picnic' spot.

Nasty Singaporeans aside, the show was absolutely fantastic. The fireworks display was a magnificent work of art, though i wish they'd made more shapes than just flowers. It was a lovely sight to see fireworks dancing on the river surface. I have never seen a more beautiful fireworks display. Unfortunately i don't have any pics to show since i chose not to bring my D80, but i do have a 238MB video. Even then, the video doesn't do justice to the display, nor does it bring out the atmosphere and fully convey the experience.

Faced another human and a vehicular jam trying to get out of the area. At least it was fairly orderly and no pushing and shoving, unlike some past experiences. Note to self: if attending next yr's fireworks festival, bring, in addition to what i already brought this year: 1) portable stool; 2) handheld fan; 3) D80

flyaway
3:40 pm

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Wednesday, 15 August 2007
Stress

Feeling really stressed these days. So many tests these 2 weeks and promos are only 5 weeks away. I'm actually damn scared i won't be able to get promoted. Plus as usual, there's more CCA stuff to deal with, got like 3 montages to finish. And there's a "review of 2007" to complete, as well as the CCA plans and budget for next year.

PW is also driving me up the wall. What the hell is the point of PW anyway? It's a bloody time wasting load of crap. PW sucks!

Just wasting more time complaining about the way things are again. Nothing much to look forward to these days. Everything is either mundane and routine or it's some horrible thing that i don't like doing and makes me feel more stressed. I seem to be lacking a drive or motivation nowadays, something that spurs me to carry on with my daily life. It seems i can't derive any enjoyment from the things i do in life nowadays.

flyaway
10:27 pm

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